I am studying the book, The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier: How to Solve the Mysteries of Weak Writing, by Bonnie Trenga. These are my notes on long sentences and how to correct them.
Long Sentences and How to Correct Them
- Instead of using and or but, create a new sentence by substituting the following words:
- And: “in addition,” or “also,” (also should be added within the sentence)
- Incorrect: The bird flew to his nest with a mouth full of twine and began stitching it together, and he dusted off the twigs.
- Correct:
- “in addition”- The bird flew to his nest with a mouth full of twine and began stitching it together. In addition, he dusted off the twigs.
- “also”- The bird flew to his nest with a mouth full of twine and began stitching it together. He also dusted off the twigs.
- But: “however”
- Incorrect: The bird flew to his nest with a mouth full of twine and began stitching it together, but he forgot to pick up some more twigs.
- Correct: The bird flew to his nest with a mouth full of twine and began stitching it together. However, he forgot to pick up some more twigs.
- What out for use of these words often:
- Incorrect: The bird flew to his nest with a mouth full of twine which was so big he had a hard time flying because he was a small bird, when realized after he began stitching together his nest that he forgot to pick up some more twigs.
- Correct: The small bird had a hard time flying to his nest with his mouth full of heavy twine. After he began mending his nest he realized he forgot to pick up some more twigs
- And: “in addition,” or “also,” (also should be added within the sentence)
- Find the MAIN IDEA and make it your 1st sentence.
- An em dash announces a break in thought.
- Keep the subject next to the verb, separated by no more than one extra thought.
- Incorrect: The bird, with a mouth full of twine, who was small, had a hard time flying to his nest.
- Correct: The small bird, with a mouth full of twine, had a hard time flying to his nest.
- Place no more than three ideas in a sentence.
- One Idea: The small bird flew to his nest.
- Two Ideas: The small bird flew to his nest with a mouth full of heavy twine.
- Three Ideas: The bird flew to his nest with a mouth full of heavy twine and he barely made it to his nest.